and i've spoken to a few single men who date a lot and they say "well, when i get there, she doesn't look like she did in her picture so i'm not going to pay." >> do you think, is there, a cup of coffee is a good idea, it's casual, not expensive, let's say there's a second date, at that point and it is a little bit more formal, you go to dinner, does it matter who pays from there? >> you know, it just depends. i have a problem with ladies who suggest going to the most expensive restaurant in town. that's not right. that's bad manners too. it should be a mutually-agreed upon place, it shouldn't be expensive, i think the guy should pick it up and once you establish that you're dating, like five, six dates later, the lady can make him dinner, she can offer to pay, she can get movie tickets or theater tickets so there's a balance somewhere.